Do you have a playlist of songs in your head like I have? (Please make the distinction here that a “playlist” is not the same as “hearing voices”.) In a tribute to Mother’s Day, I’m selecting in my mental jukebox the ever popular song “Mama Said There’ll Be Days Like This, There’ll be Days Like This My Mama Said” (Shirelles 1961). While it’s a catchy tune there is also tremendous wisdom in the lyrics—we’re going to have some bad days so we just have to put on our big girl panties and deal with it (my personal interpretation).

For example, recently my son seemingly exploded with the stomach flu at 2 A.M. so I rushed into the bathroom to offer my assistance and nearly slipped and fell in a sea of warm slime on the floor. As I stood there in my bare feet trying to decide my next move, I sure didn’t feel like singing but the words of that song had played in a continuous loop enough times that I stayed calm and realized Mama had said there’d be days like this.

From the beginning of time women have been passing along wisdom, currently at the average rate of 16,000 words per day. Anyone who knows me will testify that I am no slacker in the blab-fest. Some even go so far as to call me loquacious. Admittedly some of my favorite words belong to my mother. Last month’s Farm Girl Philosophy elaborated on her “You always need something to look forward to” attitude. I know many of your own moms have treasured sayings too and if newsprint could come alive, I’d love to sit with each one of you and hear them all! Here are a few more that I have grown up with and have tried to weave into the intricate fabric of life.  Mom says:

1.  Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill.
2.  Nothing’s easy (that’s worthwhile).
3.  Don’t act too happy.  If you sit there with a silly smile on your face, people will think you’re loony.
4.  Sometimes it’s better not to know too much.
5.  Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed.
6.  Most things blow over by themselves.
7.  Patience pays.
8.  Keep your mind on your business.
9.  Remember to roll off if you see you’re going to hit the fence.
10.  Don’t have too many irons in the fire.
11.  Most people look better with clothes on…and Larry King looks better sitting down.

Okay, so the last one has just evolved as something funny we give her credit in observing and it makes us laugh. Hope you laughed with us! My mom is as fun spirited as she is wise…and now instead of rolling my eyes like I did as a kid, when she exerts her words of wisdom and wit, I reach for a pen to write them down.

So to all the moms out there who have stood barefoot in your child’s warm vomit…to all the moms who realize that the precious rewards are far greater than the price…to all the women whose “playlist” includes their own fun remix of their “mama saids”!

    Janet Fliegel is a WV farmgirl currently surviving in a suburb of Cincinnati. 

It still surprises me when our grandchildren want to spend time at our place, considering that there is no cable, no TV and cell service is spotty at best. In today’s electronic world our farm is definitely lagging behind.

Recently our grandson Clayton said, “I like to visit you because we get to do stuff at your house!” Doing stuff might mean canning beans or hunting for morel mushrooms. It might mean deer hunting or taking a long hike into the woods to see an old cemetery. We might be planting potatoes or digging them. We are always, it seems, cooking. We are certainly always doing something.

During a recent visit from Clayton and his sister Grace, we had many things to do. Ramps were drying in the kitchen. Vintage glassware and antiques were spread around, in the process of being priced and packed for my antique mall booth. Broccoli plants were waiting to be planted and manure was being spread on the gardens. Bread needed to be baked. Larry’s “poutin’ house,” a small log cabin he moved and is rebuilding, needed the rest of the logs put in place and roof rafters positioned. Eggs needed to be gathered, sassafras dug and made into tea, the bees checked and the tent caterpillars removed from the fruit trees. There was certainly plenty to do.

I did not have grandparents near when I was growing up; some were in England, others in Louisiana. I never knew what it was like to spend time with my grandparents. Watching my grandchildren explore this place and doing “stuff” is one of the biggest pleasures of my life. And while I know there are those who decry the lack of interest by younger generations in the old ways, I find the opposite to be true. I wonder if the problem is that there are few opportunities for kids today to have hands-on experience with old skills like building a cabin or baking bread? Grandparents have a unique opportunity to share what they know with their grandchildren and to share some special moments with the young ones before those fleeting childhood years are gone.

Kids like to do; educational studies show that kinesthetic learning is a powerful experience and that many children learn better and retain more when they actually make something as opposed to simply reading about how to do it. A few years ago five granddaughters gathered in my kitchen to make salsa. As they peeled and chopped they talked, sang and laughed. The whirl of conversation and tomatoes remains imbedded in my memory as a special time; the girls were approaching their teen years and this was a day on the threshold of young adulthood. They remember, and laugh as they recall how they complained about having to chop what seemed like bushels of tomatoes, and yet how much fun we had. And how good the salsa was.

The value of doing is not only in learning how. It is also the realization of the capability to do the task, and pride in being allowed to do it. Add to that the reward of thanks and respect from their elders, something that does not happen often enough for young people. Clayton was proud of the logs he notched and the rafters he placed, just as his sister Grace was of the bread and cake she baked. There was tangible evidence of their successful efforts, and that success will add to their confidence to take on new challenges in the years ahead.

   A professional storyteller, Granny Sue has several published works at http://www.grannysu.blogspot.com.

by Judy Wolfram

Ahhhh, May. They say, “April showers bring May flowers.” Well, this year, I’m afraid that warm weather and early spring will bring more than flowers. It will bring bugs.  Bugs like chiggers, fleas, ticks and lady bugs that aren’t really lady bugs. You know that this will come to be when the anchor on the 10 pm news reports it. So, let’s get prepared the least expensive way that we can.

Get a spray bottle and fill it half full of water then add enough vinegar to fill the bottle. Spray the dogs and cats. Inside cats and dogs should be okay unless you have another pet that does come in and out. Spraying a few times a week should do it. If you can get the pets to hold still, a good brushing always helps. You can also add fresh cooked garlic to their food to make your pets not so “tasty.”

Chiggers are best dealt with when covered in clear nail polish. No clear? Any color will do. Cover the bite with polish and blow to dry. Leave it for a while, and when you peel the nail polish off, the remaining red spot is the dead chigger.

I have a friend in Kentucky who told me that when they were cleaning their garden spot, she was covered with ticks. I told her to wipe her legs down with vinegar or alcohol before she went in the garden. She shared tips with me too. She said to wrap flea collars around the bottom of your long pants – one on each leg. She also heard that stuffing a few dryer sheets in each sock or pocket helps too. Sound easy and inexpensive. If you have Lemon Balm in your garden, rub the fresh leaves on your bare skin to repel bugs.

Now for the non-lady bugs. Yuk! I discovered I was allergic to them a few years ago. They are toxic (you can tell by the smell) and they do bite. If I smash one and get it on me, my eyes start to itch, swell and water like crazy. Needless to say, I don’t touch them. What I do is suck them up in the shop vac. Put some moth balls in before you start sucking them up or those annoying smelly pests will live in there forever.

Well, good luck in the coming bug war! I hope these affordable tips help. Happy Mother’s day to all of our mothers out there!

Judy Wolfram is chairman of Calhoun County Solid Waste Authority.  Letters can be sent to: 325 Kelly Road, Five Forks, WV 26136-8098.

Each year we celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday in May. This year’s special day falls on May 13.

Anna Jarvis never had any children, but she became the mother of Mother’s Day. Anna was born in Webster, West Virginia on May 1, 1864. She was the ninth of eleven children. She got the inspiration of celebrating Mother’s Day early in life.

Legend has it that one day when Anna was 12 years old; her mother said a class prayer. To conclude the lesson on ‘Mothers of the Bible’, Mrs. Jarvis said, “I hope that someone sometime will found a memorial mother’s day.” After the death of her mother on May 9, 1905, Anna began her campaign to establish a day for mothers.

Carnations were her mother’s favorite flowers. At one of the first services organized to celebrate Anna’s mother at her church in West Virginia, she handed out white carnations. A white carnation represents the purity of a mother’s heart. According to the tradition started by Anna Jarvis, we wear white and red carnations to pay tribute to our mothers. A white carnation honors deceased mothers, and a red one honors a living mother.

In 1914, Anna’s hard work paid off when President Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother’s Day as a national holiday to be held each year on the second Sunday of May.

A Mother’s Garden
By Janet F. Smart

A mother plants a garden
She waters it each day.
She tends to it and cares for it
and keeps the weeds away.

The flowers grow so sweetly
and shoot up toward the sun.
The flowers are her children
she loves them every one.

Here is an easy Fancy Fruit Salad recipe to make for your mother on Mother’s Day.

FANCY FRUIT SALAD
1 large can sliced peaches
1 large can pineapple chunks, do not drain
1 10 oz pkg. frozen strawberries, thawed
3 large bananas, sliced
1 small 3oz box vanilla instant pudding
2 Tbs. Tang
Place fruit in large serving bowl. Sprinkle dry pudding mix and Tang on top and mix gently. Refrigerate.

Janet Smart lives in Jackson County. Visit her blog at http://www.janetsmart.blogspot.com.

My sister sent me a link to an Instructable on how to make multi-colored “unicorn poop cookies.” We decided that my niece would flip out if she received a box of them in the mail. My sister didn’t think I would get up and immediately make them, but she was wrong.

Unicorn Doo Cookies or, Unicorn Dookies. Yep, brightly colored, sweetened, sprinkle covered piles of love. Here’s how I made them.

I started with a basic sugar cookie recipe, but doubled it.

1 c shortening        2 c white sugar        4 eggs
2 tsp vanilla        4 c self-rising flour
You will also need several shades of food coloring. I used four different colors because that’s what I had in my cabinet.

This cookie is made using a creaming method, which means you put the solid fat (shortening or butter) in the mixer with the sugar and beat the crap out of it until it is light and fluffy. Stop and scrape the bowl a time or two to make sure things get really mixed together and nothing puddles in the bottom.

After you cream together your sugar and shortening, add your eggs and thoroughly incorporate them into the mix.

Scrape the sides of your bowl and add your self-rising flour. Be careful not to turn the mixer on too high at first because you’ll cover your kitchen in flour. Mix to combine, but make sure not to mix too much because you’ll develop gluten and make tough cookies. You’ll wind up with a soft ball of dough.

Turn your dough out onto a lightly floured counter and form it into a disk. Cut your disk into four even sections with a bench scraper. Knead a blob of food coloring into each section of dough to create four different colors. The amount you need depends on how vibrant you want your unicorn poop to turn out. I used neon food coloring because that’s just what I had on hand.

I formed my dough into roughly even balls, then cut each of them in half. I stacked one of each color and formed a rope, then did the same with the other sections. I combined both of these ropes into one super rope with eight sections of colors to make it extra insane.

With the help of a pirate skeleton, I rolled the snake thinner and cut it into four sections. I rolled each of the four sections thinner so they would produce twelve small pieces. I formed each of these pieces into tiny snakes, then curled those little snakes into little piles of unicorn doo.

I brushed the top of each pile with a little water so the sprinkles would stick. I used traditional multicolored nonpareils and multicolored stars because that was what was in my cabinet. Put as many sprinkles on each cookie as you can.  You know, unicorns poop rainbows and glitter!

Bake them at 350 for about 8 minutes. Make sure they don’t get too brown or you will ruin the amazing Technicolor vibrancy!

I mailed about a dozen of them to my niece and she squealed with delight when she opened the box. It isn’t every day you are pleased to receive a big box of Unicorn doo in the mail.

Shortcut Kitchen recipes are by Heather Sammons, http://shortcutkitchen.blogspot.com.

Get up early in the morning; the day will too soon end.
Work, work, work, will soon begin.
Put on some coffee, throw on some bacon.
The family smells it and wonders, What’s mom making?
Peel some potatoes and dice into.
Throw them in a oiled skillet and fry slowly too.
Flour and milk makes homemade biscuits for you.

Oil browned with flour makes a good gravy base.
Brown it good and makes a good flavorable taste.
Some canned milk and gravy thickens as it will cream.
Fried sausage, salt and pepper, makes the best ever seen.
So what do you like for breakfast in a certain way?
Or do you like breakfast any time of day?

Home Made Pancakes
2 cups of self rising flour         1 egg        1 1/2 cups milk
2 tbsp butter, melted        2 tsp vanilla
Mix together in a large bowl. Add fruit, blueberries, bits of apples or bananas. Grease a griddle (a flat skillet works best). Get skillet hot, 10 minutes over a medium heat. Pour batter with dipper or pour into which size pancakes you like. In about 3 minutes, the top will form bubbles. Time to flip it over! Brown the other side for 2 minutes.

Home Made Pancake Syrup
1/2 cup brown sugar             1 cup water
1 tbsp butter                 pinch of salt
Bring all ingredients to a rolling boil. Remove from heat and let syrup sit 3-5 minutes before serving.

Lisa Cooper is the owner/manager of Mom’s Place in Elizabeth, WV and Mom’s Place Too in Grantsville, WV.

All content copyright Heather Sammons and Shortcut Kitchen.  http://shortcutkitchen.blogspot.com

by Mary Wildfire

Even suburban people are keeping flocks of hens these days-though often they can’t keep roosters, lest the neighbors be annoyed by the crowing. But for most of us livin’ the two-lane life, this is not a problem.

There’s good reason for the upsurge in the popularity of keeping chickens. They’re relatively cheap and easy, a good first step in animal husbandry. All they need is a small building that will keep the rain and the predators out, regular access to water and a little grain. If you let them run free range, they’ll get much of their own food in spring, summer and fall-and oftentimes they’re getting rid of nuisance bugs.

You do need your coop to be solid and tight, because altogether too many predators think they “taste like chicken.”…opossums, foxes, coyotes, stray dogs, raccoons, and even snakes go after eggs and young chicks. And then there’s Chicken Enemy Number One for where I live now: hawks. Mocha the Good Dog has been a pretty big help here, racing around barking whenever she sees a large bird in the sky.

Keeping the chickens locked up in the coop all the time can lead to cannibalism if they get crowded and bored enough. You need more space per bird if you go that route. You can also give them an enclosed outside run, but this will turn to packed, bare earth in no time. I just let mine run loose-they make use of the woods as well as the clearing, and come back to the coop at night to roost…and, most of the time, to lay their eggs. At dusk I lock up the coop for the night. Then I let them out and feed them in the early morning, unless there is snow on the ground. They don’t mind cold and they don’t mind walking around in the rain (if it gets really heavy they hang out under the coop) but they hate snow.

The downside of letting them roam is that they feel compelled to scratch through loose vegetation looking for bugs, and I feel compelled to mulch my plants, so I have to put chicken wire fences around my flower gardens and other plantings. Which does also keep dogs, cat, and rabbits out.

In my experience, a pullet starts laying at the very end of the year in which she hatched, or early the next spring. I don’t use supplemental light, and find they quit for a month or two, usually December. I hate buying “cage-free eggs” for a high price at Wal-Mart, knowing that “cage free” probably means ten thousand hens in a huge building with a concrete floor. But I’ve discovered a good way to freeze my surplus eggs in the spring to tide me through the dark period-I crack two eggs (our typical breakfast ration) into a small plastic container, beat them , and then freeze it. Then I run a little warm water on the bottom, and pop the egg disk out of the container to store in a stack.

You can buy commercial laying mash or other grain rations-if the hens run free they can get by with just some whole or cracked corn or wheat much of the year. Be sure they always have water, which may take some extra effort in winter. Some hens will “go broody” and set on a clutch of eggs. If you want to let her hatch the chicks, it’s best to give her a separate space so the other hens don’t kick the half-brooded eggs out of the nest. It takes 21 days. Some breeds, and some individual hens, are prone to broodiness and others never bother. Banties are particularly enthusiastic, and good mothers-but I see them as hawk bait here, so I have only bigger ones now. Araucanas and Americaunas lay pale blue or green eggs.

Yes, you can eat your chickens too-but they’re likely to be tough if they aren’t very young, and the breeds that make good layers take much longer to put on weight than the Corning Cross types developed for meat birds. You might want to raise one flock to butcher young, and another of a different breed to populate the henhouse. You can buy them as day-old chicks at some feed stores or through mail order.

Once you’ve gotten used to fresh eggs, it’s hard to go back to pale, stale eggs from the store. And who wants to contribute to the abusive way layers are kept by those who keep tens of thousands of “units” in conditions reminiscent of the Middle Passage of slave days? Get your own hens, or buy eggs locally. It’s easy!

 Questions, comments can be sent to wildfire@spectrumz.com.