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DEAR RONDA SUE 5/08 - Honk Elsewhere & Dear Ronda Sue, It seems the little things that bother us the most are the ones that happen to us the most. Would you please address common courtesy for someone who finds it necessary to blow their nose at the table at a restaurant? I see this all the time, and when it happens my enjoyment of the meal is gone. I want to say something, but maybe reading it here will change someone’s ideas about it. Thank you, Honk Elsewhere Dear Honk Elsewhere, With your letter we can address this problem and maybe a few others. It is sad that some of us were not taught our manners. To those of you who are feeling a little guilty right now, get the message! Please, just excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom or outside to blow your nose. Also to those of you that find it necessary to burp, fart, scratch or grab where you know you really shouldn't be in public, (especially at a restaurant where others are trying to enjoy a meal and probably paying good money to do it) take my advice. It's not cool; Ronda Sue Rule. Sincerely, Ronda Sue Dear Ronda Sue, I am nine months pregnant, due in two weeks and my mother-in-law wants to be here for the birth. However, she and I are not really close yet she is still close with my husband's ex-wife, who lives right up the street. The past few times my husband's mother has come to visit, she talked to his ex for hours at a time on the phone in front of me, and even invited his ex to my house to visit her while she was in town. Its just drama I don't want to deal with right after my baby is born. On the other hand, my husband and I would like to share this experience with his mother. Should I tell my mother-in-law how I feel or listen to my husband and just see how the week of her visit rides out? This should be one of the happiest times of our lives. I just don't want our baby's homecoming to be ruined by drama. Yet, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! What should I do Ronda Sue? Stressed Out Mom To Be Dear Stressed Out Mom To Be, Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your new baby. I can understand why you are stressed out by your mother-in-law. She should be there to support you, not stress you out. So, don't let her. Don't worry about it right now because you have enough on your plate to worry about. You have, in two weeks, a newborn. Maybe the experience of watching her grandchild come in to the world will bring the two of you closer together. Best wishes to you and your family. Sincerely, Ronda Sue
4/08 - Hopelessly Helpless, Worried Wanda & Lost Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Hopelessly Helpless, Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Worried Wanda, Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Lost,
3/08 - Tired of Quick Food & Beck-And-Call Girl Dear Ronda Sue, My family is extremely busy. We are always on the go! Thus, we are always eating fast food and we never get the time to sit down and have a good, old-fashioned meal. Not only does this take away from us having a good relationship but this food cannot be healthy for us. I don't want us to waste our lives on fast food. Any suggestions on how we can manage our time and have more family meals while still being involved in our extra activities? Tired of Quick Food Dear Tired of Quick Food, It's so easy to go through the fast food drive-thru or order a pizza when have an extremely busy schedule -- too easy. You know that you have to provide dinner for your family, but you don't have time to cook, so eating out is the answer. You are right. It is not healthy at all. I would suggest getting the trusty crock pot out. You can start the meal in the morning, slow cook it all day, and dinner will be ready when you are. Crock pot cooking is easy, even children can help. Try to plan a few meals ahead so that your next evenings meal will be easy to put together. Cook in bulk and freeze your left-overs. Not only will you be eating healtier meals and spending quality time together, you will also be really surprised how much money you will save by preparing your meals at home. Make time to sit down together and have a good old fashioned meal, and try to skip the drive -thru. Eat healthy, Ronda Sue Dear Ronda Sue, My husband and I have been married for two years. He recently got laid off from work and he is driving me crazy. We had a schedule. He would leave for work at 6a.m. and get home at 7 p.m. Then, unwind, get a shower, eat dinner, and retire to his recliner to watch t.v. He was normally asleep by 11p.m. Now that he is home things have changed. I used to have a routine, so that I can keep the housework and laundry done. I used to go to town on certain days to do my banking and shopping. It seems like now I have a 27 year old child instead of a husband. He wants me to cater to him. I can't get anything done but wait on him. Can you please give me some advice? Not A Beck and Call Girl Dear Not A Beck and Call Girl, You have got to stop waiting on him like that right now or it will never end. Get back on your routine, and then stick to it. Trust me, I know. Sincerely, Ronda Sue Ronda Sue offers real life advice to real people. Send your questions to: Ronda Sue, P.O. Box 2, Millstone, WV 25261 or, rondasue@twolanelivin.com.
2/08 -- Step-Mom-To-Be & Mr. Nice Guy Dear Ronda Sue, I am a soon-to-be stepmother to four children. I have one child of my own. My boyfriend job takes him away from home during the week. He is only home on weekends. He has visitation with his children two weekends a month and during our vacation in the summer. It upsets me that his children don't respect him. He works very hard to provide for all of us and they do not listen to him. The visits with the kids seem to be more stressful than fun for all of us. We only ask that the kids respect what they have. In their bedrooms they have cable t.v., play stations, games, computers, etc. They are expected to keep their bedrooms in order, but it always turns into a fight when they are asked to pick up their mess. Then when their dad has to yell at them, they say that he is always grouchy. What should I do Ronda Sue? Step-mom-to-be Dear Step-mom-to-be, You should tell the kids that their dad would not be grouchy if they would listen to him. You are going to be their stepmother soon. You should let them know now how you feel about how they treat their dad, how hard he works, and how sad that it makes him that their visits turn in to a screaming match because they won't listen. I'm sure that it's hard when he only has them two weekends a month. I would have a family meeting and tell them the house rules. After that, if they can't abide by those rules, start unplugging the t.v.'s, games and computers until they understand. Good Luck! Sincerely, Ronda Sue Dear Ronda Sue,A good friend of mine was down on her luck, unemployed, so I helped her get a job where I work. I thought I was doing a good thing by helping her get a job, but it has turned into a bad thing because she is a SLACKER! She wants to have a paycheck, but she doesn't want to work to get it. A few of my coworkers are complaining to me because all she does is whine about working. It is starting to bring everybody down and it reflects bad on me. What should I do? Mr. Nice Guy Dear Mr. Nice Guy, I would tell the SLACKER to shape up. Also, remind her that you did her a favor by helping her get the job but, if she wants to keep it, she needs to stop complaining and do her work. Let her know that she is making you rethink your decision to help her. Sometimes it just don't pay to be the Nice Guy. Sincerely, Ronda Sue
1/08 Older Sister and Tired and Tied Up Dear Ronda Sue, I'm worried that my sister is growing up too fast. I understand that her generation has changed from my own, but she is only twelve and has had to go through things I have not experienced. She doesn't play with toys or go outside like I used to. She is more concerned with dating and dieting. I don't want her to waste her childhood or tire of the future. What are some things I can do with her to make memories of a good childhood? The Older Sister Dear Older Sister, Kids these days do seem to be more mature than even I was at twelve. I blame it on technology and the media. Why go outside if you can sit in front of the computer and chat with friends, watch television or talk on the phone? What was once forbidden to preteens and teenagers is now the norm. Dieting at twelve, when the body is still developing, should be monitored very carefully. There is too much pressure, especially on girls, not to be overweight. My advice would be set a good example. Eat nutritious foods. Encourage her by doing fun things together. Go for a walk, talk, and most importantly, listen to her. Sincerely, Ronda Sue Dear Ronda Sue, My family is addicted to the Internet. At first, we got it for school, but now it is to the point where we are always connected. It isn't DSL either. It is dial-up, so it ties up our phone line. Yes, I use it occasionally for recreational purposes, but others in my house are on for hours a day. This makes me aggravated because I like to stay in contact with old friends by using the phone. When these old friends try calling me, they can't get through. So, I feel the Internet is only a burden now because it's causing friendships to drift apart. We've tried using time limits, example: one hour a day, but that did not work out, as people then argued or lied. Ronda Sue, what can my family do to be happy with the convenience of the Internet and not make it their whole life? Tired and Tied Up Dear Tired and Tied Up, I would try suggesting that there should be a certain time period each day that the computer should be turned off. You can also suggest getting a second phone line or finding a service online that will disconnect when there is an incoming call, such as Callwave. Good Luck! I know by experience exactly how you feel. Sincerely, Ronda Sue
12/07 Fed Up With Dad & Bah Humbug Dear Ronda Sue, Do you know somebody who is an absolute slob? I do, and he is my Dad. I wish he would respect the fact that my sister and I clean and cook for him. Is there any hope that he ever will respect this? Fed Up With Dad Dear Fed Up With Dad, First, I think it is great that you and your sister help out with the housework and cooking. A friend of mine had a similar problem with roommates. She would clean up the house and they would mess it up. So one day she got tired of it and piled everything they had left for her to pick up on the couch where they spent most of their time watching t.v. They got the message. Since you still live with Dad, my advice would be to send a similar message, just don't get grounded. Sincerely, Ronda Sue Dear Ronda Sue, My husband and I have been married for five years. In the past, we went to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner and to his mother’s Christmas day. This has turned into a tradition I would like to change because of my mother-in-law. She insists that her children and their families attend this dinner, but she constantly complains about all the hard work she had to do to clean her house and all the cooking she had to do. I have offered to help her get prepared for company and cook, but she insists on doing it all herself. I want to make my husband happy and I know, as the youngest of four boys, he really looks forward to seeing his brothers. Two live in another state. He wants me to go with him to his mothers, and I really want to be with him, but I don't want to go there and hear her complain. What should I do? Bah Hum Bug Dear Bah Hum Bug, If it really makes you upset enough to dread the Holidays because of her actions, then don't put yourself in that position. Feel free to break the tradition. But, if you still decide to go for your husband’s sake, I would, every time she complains, offer to make dinner for the family next year, and start planning now to change the tradition in the future. That might shut her up. If that doesn’t work, try a simple thank you, she may just want appreciated. But still, plan the changes for next year. Sincerely, Ronda Sue Ronda Sue regularly offers practical, real life advice to real people in her profession - - as a local barkeep and cook. Send your questions to: rondasue(at)twolanelivin.com, or, Ronda Sue, P.O. Box 2, Millstone, WV 25261.
11/07 Trouble and Tiny Dancer Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Trouble, Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Tiny Dancer, Ronda Sue regularly offers advice
to real people in her profession - as a local barkeep
and cook. She may not be a licensed therapist, but she
does have a license to serve alcohol.
10/07 - Worried Friend and Just Wondering Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Worried Friend, Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Just Wondering,
9/07 - Fine Family and 2Quiet Dear Ronda Sue, Dear Patty, Dear Ronda Sue, Dear 2Quiet, |
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