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DEAR RONDA SUE

5/08 - Honk Elsewhere &

Dear Ronda Sue,

It seems the little things that bother us the most are the ones that happen to us the most. Would you please address common courtesy for someone who finds it necessary to blow their nose at the table at a restaurant? I see this all the time, and when it happens my enjoyment of the meal is gone. I want to say something, but maybe reading it here will change someone’s ideas about it.

Thank you,

Honk Elsewhere

Dear Honk Elsewhere,

With your letter we can address this problem and maybe a few others. It is sad that some of us were not taught our manners. To those of you who are feeling a little guilty right now, get the message! Please, just excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom or outside to blow your nose. Also to those of you that find it necessary to burp, fart, scratch or grab where you know you really shouldn't be in public, (especially at a restaurant where others are trying to enjoy a meal and probably paying good money to do it) take my advice. It's not cool; Ronda Sue Rule.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,

I am nine months pregnant, due in two weeks and my mother-in-law wants to be here for the birth. However, she and I are not really close yet she is still close with my husband's ex-wife, who lives right up the street. The past few times my husband's mother has come to visit, she talked to his ex for hours at a time on the phone in front of me, and even invited his ex to my house to visit her while she was in town. Its just drama I don't want to deal with right after my baby is born. On the other hand, my husband and I would like to share this experience with his mother. Should I tell my mother-in-law how I feel or listen to my husband and just see how the week of her visit rides out? This should be one of the happiest times of our lives. I just don't want our baby's homecoming to be ruined by drama. Yet, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! What should I do Ronda Sue?

Stressed Out Mom To Be

Dear Stressed Out Mom To Be,

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your new baby. I can understand why you are stressed out by your mother-in-law. She should be there to support you, not stress you out. So, don't let her. Don't worry about it right now because you have enough on your plate to worry about. You have, in two weeks, a newborn. Maybe the experience of watching her grandchild come in to the world will bring the two of you closer together. Best wishes to you and your family.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

 

4/08 - Hopelessly Helpless, Worried Wanda & Lost

Dear Ronda Sue,
My friend is in a relationship with someone she fights with constantly. They say they love each other and seem happy, when they’re not fighting. When they do fight they seem to make up in two days, a lot of times within 24 hours. Do you think this is a healthy relationship? Is there anything I can do to help them?
Sincerely,
Hopelessly Helpless

Dear Hopelessly Helpless,
Although continued stress is unhealthy, there is probably nothing you can do to help these two. They must like it, because they make up so quickly. You cannot reason with the human heart. Different strokes for different folks.
Sincerely,
Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,
I am deeply concerned about my dear friend Louise. She hasn’t been eating properly lately and I am worried about her health. We tried convincing her that 200 calories a day just won’t cut it, but she refuses. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Worried Wanda in Weston

Dear Worried Wanda,
You are right to be concerned about your friend Louise. She is practically starving herself! If Louise maintains this diet for long, she will have physical problems. Please try to convince your friend to eat healthier. She really needs to seek advice from a professional about her eating habits. She can stay thin by eating a healthy diet and exercising daily.
Sincerely,
Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,
I have a neighbor who takes over everything I do. She always has to have her way no matter what we do together. I tried to throw a neighborhood party in my back yard and somehow it ended up in her house next door. How can I stop her from taking over my life? I feel bad if I exclude her. Help me!
Signed, Lost...

Dear Lost,
It's easy to see why you are aggravated. Excluding her might not be a bad idea, but letting her know how you feel would be a better idea. We usually don't get what we deserve, we get what we negotiate for. Speak up. The two of you must be friends.Tell her how you feel. In her defense, she may not even realize she's doing it. Life is to short to waste it with being stressed out by someone elses actions.
Sincerely,
Ronda Sue

 

3/08 - Tired of Quick Food & Beck-And-Call Girl

Dear Ronda Sue,

My family is extremely busy. We are always on the go! Thus, we are always eating fast food and we never get the time to sit down and have a good, old-fashioned meal. Not only does this take away from us having a good relationship but this food cannot be healthy for us. I don't want us to waste our lives on fast food. Any suggestions on how we can manage our time and have more family meals while still being involved in our extra activities?

Tired of Quick Food

Dear Tired of Quick Food,

It's so easy to go through the fast food drive-thru or order a pizza when have an extremely busy schedule -- too easy. You know that you have to provide dinner for your family, but you don't have time to cook, so eating out is the answer. You are right. It is not healthy at all.

I would suggest getting the trusty crock pot out. You can start the meal in the morning, slow cook it all day, and dinner will be ready when you are. Crock pot cooking is easy, even children can help.

Try to plan a few meals ahead so that your next evenings meal will be easy to put together. Cook in bulk and freeze your left-overs. Not only will you be eating healtier meals and spending quality time together, you will also be really surprised how much money you will save by preparing your meals at home.

Make time to sit down together and have a good old fashioned meal, and try to skip the drive -thru.

Eat healthy, Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,

My husband and I have been married for two years. He recently got laid off from work and he is driving me crazy. We had a schedule. He would leave for work at 6a.m. and get home at 7 p.m. Then, unwind, get a shower, eat dinner, and retire to his recliner to watch t.v. He was normally asleep by 11p.m.

Now that he is home things have changed. I used to have a routine, so that I can keep the housework and laundry done. I used to go to town on certain days to do my banking and shopping. It seems like now I have a 27 year old child instead of a husband. He wants me to cater to him. I can't get anything done but wait on him. Can you please give me some advice?

Not A Beck and Call Girl

Dear Not A Beck and Call Girl,

You have got to stop waiting on him like that right now or it will never end.

Get back on your routine, and then stick to it. Trust me, I know.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

Ronda Sue offers real life advice to real people. Send your questions to: Ronda Sue, P.O. Box 2, Millstone, WV 25261 or, rondasue@twolanelivin.com.

 

2/08 -- Step-Mom-To-Be & Mr. Nice Guy

Dear Ronda Sue,

I am a soon-to-be stepmother to four children. I have one child of my own. My boyfriend job takes him away from home during the week. He is only home on weekends. He has visitation with his children two weekends a month and during our vacation in the summer.

It upsets me that his children don't respect him. He works very hard to provide for all of us and they do not listen to him. The visits with the kids seem to be more stressful than fun for all of us. We only ask that the kids respect what they have. In their bedrooms they have cable t.v., play stations, games, computers, etc. They are expected to keep their bedrooms in order, but it always turns into a fight when they are asked to pick up their mess. Then when their dad has to yell at them, they say that he is always grouchy. What should I do Ronda Sue?

Step-mom-to-be

Dear Step-mom-to-be,

You should tell the kids that their dad would not be grouchy if they would listen to him. You are going to be their stepmother soon. You should let them know now how you feel about how they treat their dad, how hard he works, and how sad that it makes him that their visits turn in to a screaming match because they won't listen. I'm sure that it's hard when he only has them two weekends a month. I would have a family meeting and tell them the house rules. After that, if they can't abide by those rules, start unplugging the t.v.'s, games and computers until they understand. Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,

A good friend of mine was down on her luck, unemployed, so I helped her get a job where I work. I thought I was doing a good thing by helping her get a job, but it has turned into a

bad thing because she is a SLACKER! She wants to have a paycheck, but she doesn't want to work to get it. A few of my coworkers are complaining to me because all she does is whine about working. It is starting to bring everybody down and it reflects bad on me. What should I do?

Mr. Nice Guy

Dear Mr. Nice Guy,

I would tell the SLACKER to shape up. Also, remind her that you did her a favor by helping

her get the job but, if she wants to keep it, she needs to stop complaining and do her work. Let her know that she is making you rethink your decision to help her. Sometimes it just don't pay to be the Nice Guy.

Sincerely,

Ronda Sue

 

1/08 Older Sister and Tired and Tied Up

Dear Ronda Sue,

I'm worried that my sister is growing up too fast. I understand that her generation has changed from my own, but she is only twelve and has had to go through things I have not experienced. She doesn't play with toys or go outside like I used to. She is more concerned with dating and dieting.

I don't want her to waste her childhood or tire of the future. What are some things I can do with her to make memories of a good childhood?

The Older Sister

Dear Older Sister,

Kids these days do seem to be more mature than even I was at twelve. I blame it on technology and the media. Why go outside if you can sit in front of the computer and chat with friends, watch television or talk on the phone? What was once forbidden to preteens and teenagers is now the norm. Dieting at twelve, when the body is still developing, should be monitored very carefully. There is too much pressure, especially on girls, not to be overweight. My advice would be set a good example. Eat nutritious foods. Encourage her by doing fun things together. Go for a walk, talk, and most importantly, listen to her.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,

My family is addicted to the Internet. At first, we got it for school, but now it is to the point where we are always connected. It isn't DSL either. It is dial-up, so it ties up our phone line. Yes, I use it occasionally for recreational purposes, but others in my house are on for hours a day. This makes me aggravated because I like to stay in contact with old friends by using the phone. When these old friends try calling me, they can't get through.

So, I feel the Internet is only a burden now because it's causing friendships to drift apart. We've tried using time limits, example: one hour a day, but that did not work out, as people then argued or lied.

Ronda Sue, what can my family do to be happy with the convenience of the Internet and not make it their whole life?

Tired and Tied Up

Dear Tired and Tied Up,

I would try suggesting that there should be a certain time period each day that the computer should be turned off. You can also suggest getting a second phone line or finding a service online that will disconnect when there is an incoming call, such as Callwave. Good Luck! I know by experience exactly how you feel.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

 

 

12/07  Fed Up With Dad & Bah Humbug

Dear Ronda Sue,

Do you know somebody who is an absolute slob? I do, and he is my Dad. I wish he would respect the fact that my sister and I clean and cook for him. Is there any hope that he ever will respect this?

Fed Up With Dad

Dear Fed Up With Dad,

First, I think it is great that you and your sister help out with the housework and cooking.

A friend of mine had a similar problem with roommates. She would clean up the house and they would mess it up. So one day she got tired of it and piled everything they had left for her to pick up on the couch where they spent most of their time watching t.v. They got the message. Since you still live with Dad, my advice would be to send a similar message, just don't get grounded.

Sincerely, Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,

My husband and I have been married for five years. In the past, we went to my parents house for Thanksgiving dinner and to his mother’s Christmas day. This has turned into a tradition I would like to change because of my mother-in-law. She insists that her children and their families attend this dinner, but she constantly complains about all the hard work she had to do to clean her house and all the cooking she had to do. I have offered to help her get prepared for company and cook, but she insists on doing it all herself. I want to make my husband happy and I know, as the youngest of four boys, he really looks forward to seeing his brothers. Two live in another state. He wants me to go with him to his mothers, and I really want to be with him, but I don't want to go there and hear her complain. What should I do?

Bah Hum Bug

Dear Bah Hum Bug,

If it really makes you upset enough to dread the Holidays because of her actions, then don't put yourself in that position. Feel free to break the tradition. But, if you still decide to go for your husband’s sake, I would, every time she complains, offer to make dinner for the family next year, and start planning now to change the tradition in the future. That might shut her up. If that doesn’t work, try a simple thank you, she may just want appreciated. But still, plan the changes for next year.

Sincerely,

Ronda Sue

Ronda Sue regularly offers practical, real life advice to real people in her profession - - as a local barkeep and cook.

Send your questions to: rondasue(at)twolanelivin.com, or, Ronda Sue, P.O. Box 2, Millstone, WV 25261.

 

 

11/07 Trouble and Tiny Dancer

Dear Ronda Sue,
I have a problem with friends. I go for the "underdogs" that I feel like I can help. I try to help out everyone. Sometimes I get myself into trouble. I get bad things spread about me. I am nothing that has been said, but we live in a small town. When one thing is said, it gets changed around. I try to help everyone but things just blow up in my face. Parents say I am a bad influence. They really don't know me, but they just believe everything they hear about me. So what? Maybe I have dated bad people in my past. I don't know what to do. Help me please.
Trouble

Dear Trouble,
It may be time to stop trying to help the "underdogs", especially if it seems to only blow up in your face. Have you ever heard that old saying "birds of a feather, flock together"? Sadly, sometimes we are judged by the company that we keep. We all make mistakes and hopefully we learn by them.
Sincerely,
Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,
I have been married a little over a year but, we have been together for three years. Our backgrounds are very different. He is like my best friend instead of my true love.After the life I have had, I'm just happy to have a best friend. But he drinks everyday and I'm tired of it. We have two children, sixteen and one is thirteen. They are happy. So, I feel as if I have a really good family atmosphere to raise these children in, except for his drinking.
His excuse for drinking everyday is he works hard. Well, when he’s not working, sometimes it's hard for me to not drink with him, because it seems that is the only thing we have in common. I quit going to college part-time because we couldn't afford the gas. Well, we can sure still afford beer. So what should I do, Ronda Sue?
Tiny Dancer

Dear Tiny Dancer,
Tell your husband how you feel about his excessive drinking and the influence that it has on his two teenage sons. The reality is, no matter how you feel and how you would like him to behave, he will only change or stop if he wants to. People only change if they want to change. Consider doing something for yourself and go back to college. Good Luck!
Sincerely, Ronda Sue

Ronda Sue regularly offers advice to real people in her profession - as a local barkeep and cook. She may not be a licensed therapist, but she does have a license to serve alcohol.
Send your questions to: rondasue@twolanelivin.com, or, Ronda Sue,
P.O. Box 2,
Millstone, WV 25261.

 

10/07 - Worried Friend and Just Wondering

Dear Ronda Sue,
I'm really worried about my best friend. She is extremely skinny. She is so tiny, it makes me cringe when I look at her bony arms.
I can’t find a way to tell her she needs to change and help herself. I don't want to hurt her feelings because she is so proud she lost so much weight. She is a beautiful girl and I really want to save that beauty before nothing is left. All of our other friends really want to help but we cant find the appropriate way.
A Worried Friend

Dear Worried Friend,
Its nice that you are concerned about your friend’s health and welfare.
When we watch a friend do things that will do harm to their bodies, its seems so easy to know what they should do to correct their lifestyle. It is like telling someone they should not smoke, eat sugar or trans fats. Showing them proof that these things will harm their body will not change their minds.
All you could do to help your friend is try to set examples of a good diet and nutrition and hope they will get the message.
Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,
Fifteen years ago, I had an affair with an older man. I became pregnant, but I never told him because he had children, grown, my age. I had an abortion. I run into that gentleman from time to time. I always speak, but I never mention the past. I always wonder if he would want to know? He is around 70 years old now. Should the past stay there or should he know?
Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,
Why tell him now? Fifteen years ago, you made the decision to do what you thought was for the best. I'm sure it was the most difficult decision you have had to make and one that you will never forget. I would leave the past in the past.
Sincerely,
Ronda Sue


Send your questions to:
Ronda Sue,
P.O. Box 2,
Millstone, WV 25261.

 

9/07 - Fine Family and 2Quiet

Dear Ronda Sue,
My husband and I raised four children. In the early years of all their marriages and   having babies, we had them for many family dinners and felt we were very considerate of the other families at holiday time. We even spent some of our Golden Years baby sitting. Now we seldom see any of them and we don't seem to mind. Is there something wrong with us or, with them?
PJ
Vincent, OH

Dear Patty,
I don't think that there is anything wrong with anyone -- if you are comfortable with how things are. I would just try to make the most of each visit since they are few and far
between.
Ronda Sue

Dear Ronda Sue,
I am very shy around people that I don't know. They probably think that I'm stuck up, but I'm not. I just have a hard time talking to people. I think that it is because I don't know what their reaction will be or if they won't like me. How can I talk to others more easily without worrying about what they will think of me? Please help!
2Quiet

Dear 2Quiet,
The key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener. You can learn a lot about a person by listening to what they talk about. Starting up and staying in a conversation is easier if you know what their interests are and what they like to talk about. As far as worrying about what others think of you, first impressions are lasting ones. Get out there and talk to someone 2Quiet!
Sincerely, Ronda Sue
  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

 

 

 

Ronda Sue regularly offers advice to real people in her profession - - as a local barkeep and cook. She may not be a licensed therapist, but she does have a license to serve alcohol.

Send your questions to: ,
or,
Dear Ronda Sue,
P.O. Box 2,
Millstone, WV 25261.
  

   
 

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