JULY 2009 - The Greatness of Grandmothers

By now, most of you know I'm a big fan of Henry David Thoreau and his writings. One of my favorites is his classic Walden, Life in the Woods. There in his cabin, he strived for a life of natural simplicity, something I think we all yearn for from time to time.

Like Thoreau, it became one of my own personal goals to put myself and my family in an environment where we could appreciate the simpler things in life and spend more time appreciating Mother Nature. My own health issues helped drive that need to find a less stressful and easier way to live each day. My husband was anxious to get back to his country roots, so we took the plunge and came "back home" to the hills.

We've learned to adjust in many ways. Our kids actually don't mind living in the old house up the hollow so much anymore - at least they'll sleep in their own upstairs rooms now. Our life in suburbia seems like a long time ago. The one thing that hasn't happened for us as a family, however, is simplifying our existence. My husband is as busy working as he ever was and my kids seem to have something on their schedule almost daily.

My need to focus on my own health has gotten lost in between trying to keep up with everyone else, whether I'm able or not, and not wanting to admit how much help I really need. When you've been extremely independent over a lifetime, becoming more dependent seems like being imprisoned. Like many people in my shoes, I often refuse assistance from others just because I don't want to feel helpless in another way.

Despite the fact that I enjoy living in our very rural environment, I've started to wonder if I should be living closer to medical care so it's not such a hardship for my family. The last few months have been a series of overnight trips and many road trips to out-of-state facilities for tests and treatments. My husband has to squeeze the time into his busy schedule and my kids get shuffled around each time to several folks who gladly offer to help. And, I end up feeling guilty.

We were seriously considering a move closer to medical help when I got word that my grandmother, who is amazingly healthy in her 90’s, was moving back into town. She's lived in the same small town most of her life but has been living with family out of state the last few years. The thought of her being nearby again was an immediate boost to my morale. We've always been very close and I have missed her immensely.

I began thinking of all the ways being near her could help me feel better about my own situation. We all know that no one can dish out love and support any better than a grandma. My Granny Brooke has always made me feel loved. As a child, I spent a lot of my time visiting her and Grandpa whenever I could. We often visited family and neighbors together. She always seemed to have someone coming and going at her house and treated everyone like they were guests in a four-star hotel.

She took me on little road trips, we exercised by walking down the road picking greens and berries. She taught me country cooking by using simple ingredients already in her cabinets. She canned or froze anything that didn't walk (and some things that used to). She was one of the best fish-fryers in town (my Grandpa was quite the cat fisherman), and she could cook up a squirrel better than most anyone.

Around her, I learned a lot about living in the hills whether I intended or not. Granny is able to live as frugal as anyone I know, saving or re-using everything in her path. Many tasty items from her kitchen arrived in butter bowls.

I can even remember her willingness to perm my hair as a child when I couldn't afford a salon. A couple times I looked more like J.J. from the cast of 'Good Times' with my frizzy afro, but I always looked forward to her loving attempts.

I've always admired her extreme kindness toward everyone, especially animals. She never has a bad word to say to or about anyone and is a testament to extreme patience.

Most of all, she's always seemed content living very simply.

I had one of her relatives tell me recently that I reminded him more of her than anyone else in their family. I knew it was a major compliment and I will never forget it.

I'm hoping that having her around again will re-inspire me to follow in her steps more closely. I want to learn to simplify, be more optimistic, to be more grateful and gracious, and to appreciate my surroundings. Most of all, I want to lean on her for love and guidance while she's here to help me.

I want to make the best of the time we have together which has inspired me to initiate a little project we can all work on together: to make a tribute to all those special grandmas in our lives, past or present.

I want to compile something like "Grandma's Country Cook Book of Love." It would contain your favorite recipe out of her kitchen, or maybe a special tradition of hers, or something very unique. It could reflect a notable accomplishment you're very proud of. It could include a photo of her and a few personal lines of information about her as well.

You can help me by e-mailing me (see below) your Grandma's info. Or, you can mail it to me at P.O. Box 691, Grantsville, WV 26147. When I get enough of them, I'll start posting it all on a website/blog for everyone to share. Hopefully it will inspire all of us to reflect more on the good things in life.

One of Thoreau's famous lines, 'Tis healthy to be sick some times, never seemed to resonate with me until lately. Being sick for an extended period of time has given me a different perspective on how to create my own sense of "healthiness" in whatever way possible. Hopefully having Grandma nearby will be a lesson on simplicity that will be as therapeutic as anything I'm able to find in the city.