January 2008 -- Learning to Live with Red Clay Mud

Welcome to the fifth issue of Two-Lane Livin’, the first of a brand new year. Just as so many of us make resolutions for our lives, Frank and I are making resolutions for the magazine.

First, thank you all for embracing us. We spent the first four months responding to the demand for copies, increasing from 10,000 monthly copies to 15,000 monthly copies. But now, with the new year and for our new audience, we hope to take a little time to listen to our readers and our advertisers to improve the content and the "look" of the publication.

Now, don’t panic. We’re not making any major changes. The cover will still present a contest-winning artist or photographer, the columnists you have come to know over the past five months will still be here. We just want to make it easier for readers to find their way through the pages, and we want to introduce some new topics and writers.

First, you may notice that the presentation of some columns has been adjusted. The columnists you know are still there, and most of them on even the same pages. But if you look for the name of their column in large print, you may not find it. In some cases, we felt it more important to display the topic in the headline, not just the column name, for fear that some readers might overlook some valuable information.

This month, we also are introducing two new columns, "Write on the Radio", by Brad Moyers, and "From There To Here" by Jim Brandenburg. Readers will recognize Jim from the "Hoofin’ Around WV" column, and he explains his new topic in this month’s installment. But Brad, from Braxton County, many only know by the sound of his voice. A local radio broadcaster, Brad will be sharing his views and news on music.

Also, we are searching for outdoor sportsmen to write regular columns on hunting, fishing and trapping in West Virginia. We realized this is such a part of two-lane life, we were missing an important topic area. If you are interested in writing such a column, please let us know.

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New Year Resolutions are a personal thing. Each person has something in life that causes stress or troubles, and possibly can be cured or removed.

This year, I’ve decided I’m going to learn to like red clay mud.

As a non-native (or "Elsewherian" as termed former California Governor Goodwin Knight ) I spent most of my early life not even aware of a substance as pervasive and annoying as red clay mud.

Now, after fifteen years in Central West Virginia, I still have problems adapting to this substance.

For some reason, I still can’t make it from the front door of my house, into my vehicle and arrive to my destination without getting mud on my pant cuffs, shoes or hands.

I also still have not developed the skills locals have about driving in red clay mud. Snow? No problem. I can go uphill, downhill, round the bend. But put me on a flat, straight, red-clay mud surface, and I’m either stuck or spinning.

It frustrates me. It’s like the other things that I think I should have mastered by now, and just can’t do it. You know, like why can’t I brush my teeth without toothpaste running down my chin. Or, why I can’t flip an egg over-easy without breaking the yolk.

Or, why I can’t manage to keep from saying something stupid, embarrassing or inappropriate things when speaking to certain groups. Why can’t I deal with red clay mud?

New Year’s resolutions are about learning new skills, or new habits. I read once that it takes 21 consecutive days of repeating an action before it becomes a habit. So, for the next 21 days, I’m going to practice muddin’.

First, I’m going to put on white shoes, white pants and white gloves, and I’m going walk out to my white SUV. As I walk to the vehicle, I’m going to study where the mud appears on my white attire, why it got there, and how I managed to get it there.

Then, I’m going to put my SUV in 4 high, and I’m going to try to drive straight across the hayfield.

While driving, I’m going to examine how I’m driving, and what I do that eventually gets me stuck. I’m going to calmly push the 4 low button, and try to back up to get it to kick in. Then, I’m going to try and calmly drive forward -- all without digging myself into a deeper hole. (Then, I’m gong to go get Frank to get the vehicle out of the hayfield.)

When I do finally manage to drive across the field, I’m going to take on the uphill logging road and see if I can make it to our pet cemetery halfway up the first steep incline all by myself.

When I’m done, I’m going to come back in the house to try and flip an egg. And I’m going to do this every day, for 21 days. Maybe, on Day 22, I’ll be able to flip an egg while driving through the field. For dessert, I’ll serve mud pies.

This year, let’s all take steps to learn to enjoy the life we have. ~ Lisa