December 2008 - The Gift of Encouragement

"Christmas is a time for giving." We hear this every year and we give and give until our wallets are empty and our credit cards are maxed. If you have children, each Christmas gets more expensive as they go from stuffed animals to iPods. How about something you can give them year around that will help them throughout their lives?

As parents and guardians we have the ability to have a great deal of influence in our children's lives. Our support and encouragement on a consistent basis will help them develop one thing that will cause their continued growth and maturing into the great adults we see them as in our minds: self-confidence.

Infants demand our attention with every scream, coo and cry. We reward them with oohs, aahs, clapping and squeals of delight at every new movement or event. If they roll over it is cause to call the grandparents. When they smile for the first time, even if the medical community calls it gas, we fall into tears of joy. The first steps are videoed, e-mailed and watched again and again with pride. These shows of approval and pride come so often in the beginning of a child's life but seem to dwindle as the days, months and years pass. This encouragement is as central to their positive growth as food and shelter.

As our children age they need us to keep watching and saying, "good job," "wow" and "I knew you could do it." These comments do not have to be reserved for big events like the winning touchdown or winning a pageant. These phrases can also be used for everyday things like remembering to pick up their room without being asked or speaking nicely to their sibling instead of yelling. It costs us nothing to give these compliments and it lets our children know that we are still amazed by them and appreciate their being part of our lives.

And now for something a little silly...

Twas the day after Christmas

in our mountain house.

We were sluggish to rise,

even the fat, little mouse.

The children were wired,

their poor little brains,

from the chocolate and excitement

of the previous day.

Ma in her new seats

and new jeans on I,

we laid on couch and loveseat

and stared at the sky.

I trudged out in the cold

with bags of boxes and paper.

I looked at the guy

with all the loot from the caper.

When I returned to the house,

Ma was not in her seat.

She was standing in the kitchen

picking the turkey meat.

"We'll have turkey sandwiches for lunch,

for dinner turkey fried rice,

tomorrow turkey noodle soup."

She said, "Won't that be nice?"

The children put on a movie

for some afternoon rest,

ma and I settled down

for sleep at its best.

We awoke to the clatter

of gunfire and red lightening.

We bolted off of the couch

to see who we were fighting.

Only to discover,

it is the children, that's all,

with their lovely Christmas toys

from Grandma and Papa.

Then a neighbor drove up

with more candy and toys.

He said it was because

we have such great little boys.

As I watched the boys

bouncing and chattering insanely,

believe it or not - I could

see my blessing quite plainly.