November 2008 - Children are like Tomatoes

Children are a lot like tomato plants. They need nurturing in good conditions while they are starting out, good fertile soil to continue to grow, and need the right combination of stuff to ensure good fruit.

My husband has always used this analogy for children, but recently it really hit me how true this is. So, what is the right combination of stuff to ensure good fruit? Tomatoes need nutrient rich soil, water and sunlight. How about our children?

The soil our children grow in is our home environment - where they live, the people in that environment and what is in it that will either nourish them or not. Home should always be a safe place for a child: physically and emotionally safe. Physically, home needs to be warm, dry and as comfortable as we can make it. This includes proper clothing for the seasons. Emotionally, home needs to be the one place where children can be themselves without harsh judgments and the place they know they can turn to for love and understanding. Sure home is also the place the discipline should occur for behavior that is unacceptable. But, by disciplining our children for inappropriate behavior we let them know that we care about how they act now and how those actions will affect them in the future. Children thrive on boundaries. Part of the home environment (nourishing soil) is letting them know that there are expectations in this world and what is appropriate and what is not. If we did not give boundaries, what would they push?

Tomatoes need water, as do children. Water can be equated to what they need for their bodies to grow. It is our responsibility to provide food, drink and whatever bodily needs they have, like proper medical attention, medication and vitamins. Here we set the example, just as we do everywhere else. Our eating habits become the eating habits of our children. Sure, we are adults and have earned the right to eat and drink what we want. But, as soon as we had children, we gave up some of our own desires to create a good life for them. Would it hurt us to eat a few more whole grains, a few more fresh fruits and veggies or add a bit more chicken and fish to our diets ? All of the things our children need more of are also things we probably need more of. Less chips and pop, more fresh veggies and water would help us all feel better and grow stronger. Let's set the example.

That brings us to the sunlight needed by tomatoes. Our children need sunlight too, maybe for different reasons than a tomato, but they need it. Tomatoes make their food from sunlight. We already have that department covered. Our children need sunlight through outside play. Outside play is active. Moving is something our society tries to avoid unless it is in a motorized vehicle that allows us to move with little effort on our own part. Convenience comes with a price. And right now that price is obese, unhealthy children, who become obese, unhealthy adults. Movement is the answer. Children in the entire United States and definitely in West Virginia are suffering from lack of physical activity. They feel tired, irritable and just plain bad from endless hours of physical inactivity on the Internet, video games or watching TV. As parents we need to set boundaries once again. Are the kids quietly sinking into some TV induced coma every night? We don't let them play in the road because it is dangerous to their health. Why would let them set in a chair and rot when we can let them be in the sunlight and grow?

There are a lot of things that children need. We all know that. But, making sure the basics are covered gives them a place to start strong and continue fruitfully.