January 2008 - Changing With Your Children

February 2008 - Take Them to the Sitter

With February comes thoughts of school Valentine's parties, all those little cards and children hyped up on sugar yet again. Didn't we just get finished with something like this? Well, there is more to Valentine's Day than conversation hearts and the latest kid Valentine's cards.

What is one of the best things you can do for your children for Valentine's Day? Leave them at a sitter's for the night and go on a date with your spouse. Yep, get them a couple of videos and some snacks, drop them off with a sitter (with emergency numbers, of course), tell them you will see them the next day and you and your spouse embark on a probably long needed just-the-two of you evening.

Now, what to do? The answers to this question are as varied as the couples who ask it. One thing to remember, no matter what you do, it needs to be something you both enjoy. And, the guy doesn't have to be the one to make the plans, although he can.

Some of our area state parks have great lodges with all the amenities. You can go online or give them a call to see if they have any specials going on for Valentine's Day. These same resorts generally have good restaurants right in the lodge so you don't have to spend your evening driving from place to place. You can also go a little lighter on the cash and get a hotel room. Perhaps you could get one with a jacuzzi and pool for some added fun. Whether you go to dinner and soak in the jacuzzi or order pizza and stay in your room all night, just do what you both enjoy.

This evening without children doesn’t have to be a ‘getaway.’ You could just pick a movie you've been wanting to see and snuggle up with your spouse and a bucket of popcorn and loose yourself in a great film at the theater. You could also go to a restaurant you have been wanting to try, you know, one without a playground attached to it. Relax and order something new or a favorite you've been craving, and, don't forget dessert. After all, it is Valentine's Day. After a quiet slow-paced adult evening and renewed closeness, you will relish sharing the rest of the night at home alone.

Staying the night somewhere else, dinner out and the cost of fuel may make the above ideas seem more stressful than relaxing. But then, there is always our favorite way to enjoy our child-free time -- simply staying home. After dropping off the children we make a quick stop at the store for the essentials and we head straight home, securing both gates behind us. We cook together, usually something the boys don't like, or something new we've been wanting to try. We talk (uninterrupted). We laugh and let go. Sometimes we watch what we call a "big people" movie. Thrillers and horror movies make getting closer even more fun. No dish washing, house cleaning or ‘honey do’ chores allowed.

Why is this good for the children? The answer is two fold. One, your relationship with your spouse sets the model for what your children will look for and shy away from in their future relationships. Set a united, loving example. Two, the more relaxed and content adults are, the more open and happy children are. Show love for your children by showing them how much you love your spouse.

Lisa M. Sheldon is a wife, mother, author and Calhoun County resident. She has 12 years experience in early childhood education and her RBA from WVU-P. She is also a columnist and advertising director for The Calhoun Chronicle.