December 2007 - Teaching the Spirit of Christmas

Christmas is... a happy time of togetherness, sharing joys of the year and looking forward to the new one, a time of hope and love and faith.

Or, Christmas is... a draining time, shopping, cooking, dreading the next holiday obligation, a time of stress, worry and exhaustion.

As adults, we sometimes think that the down side of Christmas is just part of it, but we have to remember that our children learn from what we do far more than they learn from what we say.

So, what is this Christmas season going to teach your children about this holiday and the values you place on it?

This is a question I have been examining each Christmas for several years. What do my husband and I want our children to remember about their childhood Christmases? Will they bring to their own families the happy traditions of the season or the stress?

When we moved to rural Calhoun County nearly seven years ago we had decided it was time to slow down and focus on the things that really count to us. But, each Christmas the same time-consuming, money gobbling, energy zapping temptations are there.

One big part of our relaxed Christmas tradition is time to be close, quiet and comfortable. Each evening through the month of December, we read a different Christmas story. These stories come from anthologies and Christmas books we have collected over the years. We also have enjoyed the great selection of Christmas books at our local library. As our children are getting older, this is becoming more difficult, but we continue to try to incorporate these readings into our routine as much as possible.

Gift giving is also a big holiday stressor. We have tried to eliminate some of this by shopping year around. We have a list of people we want to buy for and we check them off as we find something just right for them throughout the year. This list includes family, friends, co-workers and teachers. We also have a special box to store these gifts in as we buy them. This little trick was a suggestion from a dear friend and has subtracted stress from our Christmas celebrations each year.

Giving is a part of the Christmas season, but it can take many forms. If we look around our communities, we can find ways to give not only to friends and family, but to people we do not even know.

We love to visit with neighbors who have a hard time getting out to visit others. We do not have to take gifts beyond a happy heart and a smiling face. Instead of gifts that hold little meaning other than to say, "here is something because I had to buy you something for Christmas," we like to give homemade gifts. These can be baked goods, crafts or ornaments. Making these is also a great way to entertain the children on a couple of those cold winter days before Christmas.

Holiday parties and get togethers can steal your time as well as your Christmas joy. It is okay to say "no" even during the holiday season. Gatherings should be things you want to attend, not painful obligations. Learning to say no when we do not want to do something is one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children.

Another valuable lesson is that if you have to attend a get together even if you don't want to, have fun!

I do not know about other parents, but I find it a lot easier to expect my children to do as I say, not as I do. This causes a regular struggle within me. But, Christmas is a time of year when I want my children to reflect on the reason for the annual celebration and the joy of giving, not gifts, but of themselves. If I expect them to do that, then I know I have to do that myself.

Our children are reflections of us. If we look at them with clear eyes we will see that without a doubt.