Central West Virginia's Guide To Life

ALWAYS AT HOME
By Lisa Sheldon

10/07 - Tips to Stop the Arguing

Oh, the bickering, picking, messing with, fighting, arguing…What-ever you want to call it between brothers and sisters, it drives parents nuts. Or, at least it does me. I am guessing this is an age old problem as I vaguely remember a few episodes of Leave It To Beaver about this same subject. But, the bottom line is, what can we do about it?

Here a few tricks I have tried, with temporary success. On those days when arguing is all you hear, temporary peace is worth trying anything.

One of my favorite tactics is the "Create a Common Enemy" approach. This is also an age old remedy. By grumping at all children equally and laying down the impending punishment if the fighting does not end, the children just might take the focus off one another and decide to band together.

Then, there is the "Divide and Conquer" strategy. Here you simply separate the children. Of course, separation alone is not enough. You will need to give specific guidelines such as; no talking, no mouthing to each other, no note writing or sign language. You know how inventive they can be! They will act as though they cannot live without each other then. Set a specific time period for the separation and reward them by allowing them to play together again if they can behave.

"If you can't find anything to do but bicker, I can find something for you to do" is a great way to work the orneriness out of the children. Be sure, if you say this, you have something for them to do -- something you want done that they will really not want to do. And they must do it in silence. This approach has probably been the most effective over the long haul for us.

No matter what tactic you use, these or your own, remember it is vital that you explain your reason for your actions. Children have to know why they are being reprimanded to give them a chance to correct their own behavior in any circumstance. Communication is the key.

Lisa M. Sheldon is a wife, mother, author and resident of Calhoun County. She has 12 years experience in early childhood education and her RBA from WVU-P. She is also a columnist and the advertising director for The Calhoun Chronicle.

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