Though February is the month of love, it is a month I have no love for.  This is my least favorite time of year. Shut in, stuck without the highlights of spring, summer and fall. With the exception of hawk screeches, or coyote calls, the outside world becomes quiet. The skies are gray, the yard is muddy, and those bed covers are harder to toss back in the morning.

I’ve heard several folks mention that “they aren’t themselves,” or have a case of the blahs. People pause more before answering, “How are you,” as though they have to give it some thought first. Folks who typically answer, “I’m good” come back with a quiet, “I’m okay,” or “I’ve been better.”

I once worked with a corporation president in Chicago whom I called, “Mr. Wonderful.” I watched him struggle often with the challenges of the business, but no matter what, when asked how he was he replied, “I’m wooonderful!” Never did I hear him say, “I’m fine,” or “I’ve been better.” He knew it was important in a company selling toys and magic tricks, that cheer was part of his brand.

The truth is, everybody’s got something challenging their happiness. Every person you encounter has a worry, even Mr. Wonderful. Every person you speak with has at least one challenge in their life, often six or ten or more.

That grumpy cashier may have had an argument with her teenager before work. That neighbor who cut you short may be running late for a meeting because he had a flat tire that morning and had to change it in the cold winter wind.

Some folks keep their problems to themselves, while others will tell their sad tale to the world. Either way, everybody has something. In proper perspective, our problems are no bigger, or worse, or heavier than any one else’s problems. And while it may seem there are those who have fewer burdens than our own, there are certainly millions who have as many, or even more problems. What right do we have to dump our burdens on them?

It takes ten positive comments to outweigh one negative. Too often we get caught up with the negative opinions, attitudes, actions and thoughts of those around us – creating a negative lifestyle that leaves us unhappy, depressed, hopeless and angry.

In order to avoid falling this and move from a negative lifestyle to a positive lifestyle – we need to begin changing the way we see things and change the way we interact with each other.

Mr. Wonderful knew the power of positive thinking. He never let a bad morning ruin his day or his week. He knew that every time he claimed to be “wooonderful,” he was combating, and surviving, the  negatives of his days. Every time he said he was wonderful, his mind heard him, and took it to heart.

Our words determine our mindset. Although I am prone to answer “How are you?” with “fine” (whether I’m fine or not), I am trying to change that habit to respond, instead with, “I’m fantastic!” If I say or hear it ten times a day, I’ve knocked out the effects of ONE negative I’ve encountered. I’ve made one more step toward getting balance in my life.

Another friend answers the obligatory “how are you” with, “Oh, I’m hangin’ in there.” He may not be wonderful, but he’s surviving and overcoming. Sometimes, that’s the best we can hope for. Other times, instead of just hangin’, we could hope to be swinging through the trees.  Answer “how are you” just once with, “I’m swingin’ through the trees.” See if that doesn’t just lift your spirits.

Everybody’s got somethin’.  We may feel our problems are so immense and unique, we are excused from our obligation to life and society. But we are responsible for our own happiness, and anything worth having takes work. Everyone has problems, but only those who have learned not to dwell on them are happy.

We need to continually encourage ourselves, and to encourage others. There are too many unhappy people in this world who spend time and effort in the other direction. There are those who feel we should all be unhappy if they are unhappy. Unhappiness is an epidemic in our country, and every empowering word we speak is a volley in the battle for joy.

We are conditioned not to tout our blessings. Conditioned not to be boastful or proud. But it is a common practice to “sing the blues” and even try to “outdo” each other by noting that our burdens are greater. We’ve all done it — heard a sob story and responded with one of our own. Like comparing scars, we present our problems as though they were medals – battles we have survived. No wonder we are a miserable society.

We can wallow in this mud of life, or stand up and walk out of it. Which would you rather do?

The world is burdened enough. The human condition, alone, is a struggle. Two-Lane winters are enough of a challenge. February is the time of year when we often battle these blues. Don’t just “hang in there.” Remember, in perspective, your life is full of blessings. You are wonderful, great, fantastic. With a mental image and a few words, you could even be swinging through the trees.

And if that doesn’t work, break out the seed catalogs. Spring isn’t too far away.  ~ Lisa